


We're Getting By

by armyofbees



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Non-Binary Angels, Office Comedy, heavenly bureaucracy, minor spoilers up to season 12, teleportation malfunction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 15:59:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11256237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/armyofbees/pseuds/armyofbees
Summary: There's been some trouble, up in Heaven, now that no one can teleport anymore. After all, we still have to patrol the same endless expanse of corridors and dreamscapes.Just, you know, now we can get lost.Post-it notes are useful.Or, in which Heaven's finest are rescued through use of mortal office supplies.





	We're Getting By

It all used to be so simple, back before the Fall. We were where we were supposed to be, when we were in Heaven - we knew the entire place, its twists and turns, its shifting reality, like our own Grace. We merely had to think of where we wanted to be, and we were there. Hardly even felt like flying, though we must have used our wings; Heaven was our home, and navigating it was simple.

‘Course, now, after the Fall, we’ve all lost our wings, ‘cept the lucky bastard who sat out the entire thing. No more flying, no more teleporting - even getting to Heaven requires finding the Portal, which kind of feels like slinking into your own house through the backdoor. And it’s become painfully obvious that we  _ were _ flying, back then, because without our wings… well, we have to walk everywhere. And Heaven is a ridiculously big place.

That’s not even the worst part. True, our vessels’ feet hurt like heck most of the time, but we’re mostly all seasoned warriors. We can handle it. (I’m joking. Most of us left are accountants or the like - never seen a day of battle in our long, long lives, before Metatron stranded us on Earth. But we’re dealing with it.)

No, the worst part is that we’ve lost our mental map of the place.

See, none of us ever  _ really _ knew Heaven. Sure, we’d know the corridors and passages and dreamscapes around where we normally worked, but anything farther beyond we just teleported to. Heaven cradled us, made that easy. Never thought we’d need to know. It doesn’t help that Metatron made some changes while he was in charge, and Lucifer still more, and then Amara came and chewed up half of it, twisting anything she didn’t outright destroy-

Suffice it to say, even the areas we think we know have become dangerous.

We, every one of us, the accountants on up to the surviving archangels, have had to relearn the layout of Heaven. Learn to walk its halls, all spreading out from where the Portal carries us from Earth. Some have had issues with this; I can’t count the number of times I’ve come out of my office to find Jeremiah standing in the hall, waiting impatiently for their teleportation to kick in. It’s hardly their fault - that’s how we’ve been getting around for the last few billion years. It’s a hard habit to break.

Anywho, for all its billing as a paradise, Heaven can be a pretty dangerous place. We’ve got some stuff locked up here that could tear the world apart ten times over, and secrets even angels aren’t allowed to know. So, since no one has any idea where anything is, anymore, and no one had the forethought to set up a system of “you are here” maps pre-Fall, we’ve had to improvise.

Yeah, I know, the amount of ideas we’ve had to borrow from the mortals to get by is pretty depressing. But they’ve been working without wings for millions of years. They’re the experts; we’re just apprentices, learning at their knee. So that’s where these little pieces of paper come in. “Post-it notes”, I think they’re called, though Maryia would know more. They’re the one who raids the office supply store down the street for them every week.

What do we need with little bits of sticky paper? For one thing, they make it easy to write down warnings and directions. See this intersection? That little pile of paper on the wall over there is the communication between the exploration teams and the angels combing the archives for any sort of map or description of places we should avoid. Look, read them.

 

“I think I recognize this hallway - it should lead to the old breakroom in Section L”

“No, we found Section L over to the east three days ago”

“Just a piece. Metatron tore it apart and stuck the pieces all over the place”

“Did some recon - no breakroom, but found some doors with a weird insignia on it [wobbly drawing of a strange curving symbol] Archivers? Anyone know what this is?”

“Archiver here. Good news: found that symbol in the files on monster souls - should just be a quick backdoor into Purgatory. Not important”

“THAT IS NOT A BACKDOOR INTO PURGATORY”

“Elaborate?”

“Sorry, found the vault where God stuck all the chupacabras. Don’t open the door, smite any that got out”

 

See? This could have very well been a disaster without this clear and easy line of communication. We now know that down this hallway there is nothing but a door we shouldn’t open - and so we shan’t. A few jokesters have taken to putting up notes pointing the way to salvation, claiming it’s in the vault full of celestial itching powder. Ignore them. Report anyone you see putting up notes like that, and they will be reprimanded.

Now, we come to the second part of our demonstration. Can you find your way back to the Portal? No, I didn’t think so. We’re rather deep in, now, and I don’t believe you’re familiar with this section.

Never fear. Just turn around. See that pink post-it? There will always be a pink one at the entrance to the hallway that leads back to the Portal. If we get closer, you can see that there’s a distance written on it. That’s how far we are from the Portal, in celestial telemoms.

But imagine if this wasn’t here? Imagine if you had no way to tell which way it was to get out, to get back to the others, all you had was hopeless marco polo on angel radio until you, by purest luck, wandered back to us? Or if, because you were not warned, you opened a door you should not have, and accidentally let something loose?

I hope this makes it very clear why you are being reprimanded for taking down the post-it notes in your section. I know you were just trying to help with cleaning, but still. Someone could have gotten seriously hurt. Ask your supervisor next time, okay?

**Author's Note:**

> Yo, it's the beta again. Did you miss me?  
> \- Betwixt


End file.
